Pregnant Chicken.

Last week I stumbled upon http://www.pregnantchicken.com/. It is a hilarious blog written by a mamma from the “semi-burgs of Toronto”.  She was promptly added to my google reader. I love her humour and honesty. I also love that she is canadian and did I mention hilarious? I came across an entry she wrote back in April 2010 about the dumb things people say to pregnant women. I didn’t repost her entire entry – just the comments that I have personally received…..

“Sleep now because you won’t get any when the baby gets here.” What the hell does this mean anyway? It’s not like you can bank sleep. It’s like saying “Don’t eat this year because an all-you-can-eat-buffet is opening up next March”. Plus, who says that the woman you’re saying this to is sleeping now? She may be a congested ball of heartburn, hemorrhoids and back pain so this kind of thing just adds insult to injury.

“You look so big/small.” Remember when you were a teenager and you didn’t want to be unique in any way? Well pregnancy is the same and nobody wants to be told they look huge or teeny because it just scares them. Anything different from other pregnant women = weird = giant freak baby or creepy peanut baby.

“I’m so glad you felt you wanted to share your labor story with me.  But I’m trying to eat breakfast so could we please discuss your mucous plug a little later?” Why do people feel compelled to tell preggos their most horrific labor stories? You know what’s the best?  When new dads, who have a 6 month old baby – so they think they’re experts – start to tell you all about what you can expect.  Like they squeezed a baseball out their urethra, got mastitis and then didn’t sleep for two years.  Keep your labor stories to yourself unless someone is literally begging you to share.  And if sharing includes either photos or video, you need help.

“What. Did. You. Just. Say. To. Me?  That you can barely tell that I’m pregnant?  What the HELL does that even mean?” I never understood this one.  Is this supposed to be a compliment? The pregnancy equivalent of saying “you look thin”.  Are you saying I’m normally fat and bulgy in the middle? Or are you saying that I’m measuring small for my gestational age and there’s some sort of heretofor unsuspected problem with my unborn child?  What are you – a doctor? The creepy neighbor lady from Rosemary’s Baby? No? Then shut the hell up and if you want to do something useful, go get me a fountain coke or a large sweet tea.

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Other good entries I’ve enjoyed from Pregnant Chicken –

Happily After Giving Birth – 10 Things They Don’t Tell You

What’s Your Birth Plan Stan?

New Dad Survival Guide – 8 Essential Tips

Stages of Pregnancy

8 CDs for Kids that Don’t Suck It